Letters of Sri Aurobindo
Volume 2. 1934 — 1935
Letter ID: 446
Sri Aurobindo — Roy, Dilip Kumar
April 29, 1934
I return you the cheque because if you want the Mother to take it, you will have to endorse it! The Bank has its own tax, but that is only Rs.2.8; the only disadvantage is that they won’t cash it, but put the money straight into Mother’s account.
I see you have let the demons of self-doubt and doubt in general and melancholy get inside again and sit down at your table. There is no other reason for your troubles than this readiness to listen to their knock and open the door. You speak of Harin1, but that is why Harin gets on because when they knock, he turns them out at once. If you resolutely do that, you will arrive also at security and perfect ease – for there are only two things that create insecurity – doubt and desire. If you desire only the Divine, there is an absolute certitude that you will reach the Divine. But all these questionings and repinings at each moment because you have not yet reached, only delay and keep an impeding curtain before the heart and the eyes. For at every step when one makes an advance, the opposite forces will throw the doubt like a rope between the legs and stop one short with a stumble – it is their métier to do that. One must not give them that advantage. Instead of saying “I want only the Divine, why is the Divine not already here,” one must say, “Since I want only the Divine, my success is sure, I have only to walk in all confidence and his own hand will be there secretly leading me to him by his own way and at his own time.” That is what you must keep as your constant mantra and it is besides the only logical and reasonable thing to do – for anything else is an irrational self-contradiction of the most glaring kind. Anything else one may doubt: whether the supermind will come down, whether this world can ever be anything but a field of struggle for the mass of men, these can be rational doubts – but that he who desires only the Divine shall reach the Divine is a certitude much more certain than that two and two make four. That is the faith every sadhak must have in the bottom of his heart, supporting him through every stumble and blow and ordeal. It is only false ideas still casting their shadow on your mind that prevent you from having it. Push them aside for good and see this simple inner truth in a simple and straightforward way – the back of the difficulty will be broken.
1 Harindranath Chattopadhyay (1897-1990), a poet and cinema actor, brother of Mrinalini Chattopadhyay and Sarojini Naidu. Husband of Kamala Devi Chattopadhyay.