Letters of Sri Aurobindo
Letter ID: 941
Sri Aurobindo — Roy, Dilip Kumar
November 18, 1942
I thought that my letter, however brief, would make clear my reason for not writing more – viz. that Duraiswamy was not leaving the Ashram for good or as a defeatist or a failure. That is evident from his own statements and experiences in his letter and unless I assume these to be falsehoods, how can I treat him as a defeatist and a failure and set out to explain his fall? That would be like explaining the cause of a headache when there was no headache. The only thing I could explain or set out at length was the struggle in himself (a vital not mental struggle), from which he precipitately sought a temporary escape; but that I cannot do since it involves writing about things personal to him and private. He would certainly dislike my writing about them to others than himself. That was the reason for my silence.
As for the other matter, the Mother had taken a decision before you wrote and it was the only one possible. Janaki Prasad’s wife’s coming here would mean the destruction of Mother’s work on him and of his peace and recovered balance. Already she had met and upset him and if she had stayed till the Darshan that would have happened again and again. Her demand for darshan and Pranam (to which she has no claim whatever as she is not a disciple and came without permission) was only a manoeuvre by which she could get in the end of the wedge and figure as a devotee and so hope to put up a claim for entering the Ashram which would have been the end of Janaki Prasad.
I had explained through Nirod that it was impossible to allow her because of Janaki Prasad and why. I did not explain specially about the request for Pranam – that logically hangs on to the rest. She did not come here out of any personal devotion to the Mother; she was quite prepared to go to R in her seeking for the Divine if she could not get in here – that was the best she could do, since we were not prepared to offer up Janaki Prasad as a sacrifice – and so it was arranged. I hope these things are now perfectly clear.
P.S. By the way, why does everybody assume that such and such a sadhak must be above a fit of difficulties and crises. I should [?] that such immunity even among great yogis, must be very rare.