Correspondence with Sri Aurobindo
The Complete Set
By saying that N was never permanently accepted by you, you invite me to ask you about myself which I have not done so far, partly through fear, partly feeling no necessity for it.
My meaning was this only that the original understanding with N was that she was here to try if it suited her and she was free to go at any moment. And this was never altered. It suited her only in so far as she was at ease with no strong pressure to give up her peculiarities unless she freely chose to do so. The pressure we put on others, however silent, or modified, on yourself or J, we did not put on her – we left her to her fancies. The reason was that if she was to take up the life in good earnest, it must be from herself, from the being within coming out. With a mind like hers the least pressure would be useless – until that moment came, if it came. There is therefore no analogy between your case or J's and hers.
From all my outbursts of yesterday, I hope you have been able to see that I am pleading for the solicitude of the Divine, beforehand.
The solicitude is there.
... Because you know I have very often been played at by these suggestions – and the forces have not exhausted their resources, though at present they are out of the way,
So are many in the Ashram. The thing is neither to play with them – nor to fear them. Suggestions are suggestions – they come to all. It is the rejection that is important.
I have received a letter from my family – usual pathetic letter. Will it not be wise to write saying that all their wailings are of no use?
Better say nothing – it does no good and only increases the reaction from there.