Correspondence with Sri Aurobindo
The Complete Set
Mother, there are days when I am awfully afraid to go to pranam, lest I should have the misfortune to see your grave face, with no smile at all. All my despair, melancholy, etc. is intensified after that, while your smile disperses all gloom.
All this about the Mother's smile and her gravity is simply a trick of the vital. Very often I notice people talk of the Mother's being grave, stern, displeased, angry at Pranam when there has been nothing of the kind – they have attributed to her something created by their own vital imagination. Apart from that the Mother's smiling or not smiling has nothing to do with the sadhak's merits or demerits, fitness or unfitness – it is not deliberately done as at reward or a punishment. The Mother smiles on all, without regard to these things. When she does not smile, it is because she is either in trance or absorbed, or concentrated on something within the sadhak that needs her attention – something that has to be done for him or brought down or looked at. It does not mean that there, is anything bad or wrong in him. I have told this a hundred times to any number of sadhaks – but in many the vital does not want to accept that because it would lose its main source of grievance, revolt, abhiman, desire to go away or give up the Yoga, things which are very precious to it. The very fact that it has these results and leads to nothing but these darknesses ought to be enough to show you that this imagination about Mother's not smiling as a sign of absence of her grace or love is a device and suggestion of the Adversary. You have to drive away these things and so give some chance for the psychic with its deeper and truer love and surrender to come forward and take up the Adhar as its kingdom.
C asks your opinion about his taking a job in the detention camp. How does he hope to get it being a police-suspect himself?
I forgot to write about this. You had better tell C that I do not look with approval on this idea of the post in the detention camp. Even if he got it, it may lead to very undesirable things.