Correspondence with Sri Aurobindo
The Complete Set
About patient Z, confidentially, I hear she bothers herself with environmental influences, e.g., maltreatment from Y. But doesn't she say that she already feels much better?
Yes, she was almost, indeed quite alright – but there have been dramas in which she is sometimes party, sometimes confidante (confidential information this!), so her sleep these two nights was not so good. I put strong force on her for several days and got her into excellent condition, but when these things come across!
See, please, how you have understood my “impurity of nature”. No wonder people will abuse me, curse me when they see that. They will say that you could not have written in that way unless I “insinuated” you.
Why should they see it? It was a private “goak”1 between us.
It is you who will bring down the Supramental, certainly. But my question was whether it will come anyhow, in spite of all our resistance.
I presume it will come anyhow, but it is badly delayed because, if I am all the time occupied with dramas, hysterics, tragic-comic correspondence (quarrels, chronicles, lamentations,) how can I have time for this – the only real work, the one thing needful? It is not one or two, but twenty dramas that are going on.
I couldn't quite catch the meaning of your phrase, “if you fellows give me a chance...” Nowadays we don't see many vital outbursts in the atmosphere.2
O happy blindness! N.B. (confidential again).
What is happening to me? I like to lie down quietly at night and go on looking at the sky or hear the rustling of leaves. Then I wake up and say “time is gone, no reading at all!”
What harm? “The sky's my book and rustling leaves my poems.”
1 Perhaps Sri Aurobindo refers to the way somebody used to mispronounce the word “joke”.
2 Sri Aurobindo drew an arrow from the word “atmosphere”.